Day 16 - Happy Holidays

Every year Danna would donate some of her time to the local orphanage. She didn't believe in donations, but she did believe in spectacles, so each year she had $10 000 worth of confetti rigged up in the main dining hall. Needless to say that the caretaker takes about a year to clean up the Christmas explosion, and just as he is finished, the contractors come in and start setting up the next year's fluttery burst of colour.

1. Woman in street (Face Hunter), 2. Children decorating tree, Melbourne (Australian War Memorial Collection), 3. Susie in snow (Style Bubble), 4. James Smith by Thomas Lohr for Sleek (The Fashonisto), 5. Christmas stocking (Sand Scripts), 6. Confetti explosion (Talk To Me Blog), 7. Red hat (Jack and Jil), 8. Blue earrings (Jack and Jil)

Day 15 - Instamatic

Donatella worked for years in the competitive world of fashion. She once bit off part of Vivienne Westwoods ears for a photo-shoot. Her life was full of drugs and electro-pop beats. After her third visit to the Betty Ford Center Donatella knew that sneaking some coke in the children's visiting room was the lowest she could ever go. So she left early, got half her deposit back and bought a large farm with a city view.
Here she lived in a cave and communed with nature. She didn't smoke dope anymore, now she pounded the fibers into papers and fabrics. She spoke to animals and harvested her own soy beans. She hand sewed everything she wore. But there was just one problem in Donatella's life. She was just out of range of a cell tower for wireless data connection for her mobile, so she couldn't send any vintage Hipstamatic photographs of her alternative lifestyle to any of her friends. So she got a cab back to civilisation, bought some hard drugs and forgot the wonderful life she had made for herself.

1. Manuella Coatigan (Style Bubble), 2. Cliffs (Field Museum Library), 3. To Be Adored S/S 2011 (Style Bubble), 4. Shoot by Tom Marshak (The Photography Link), 5. Sophie by Hanneke van Leeuwen (The Ones2Watch), 6. Crow in flight (Richard Heeks), 7. Skyline (J. Barry)

Day 14 - Day 13

There once was a satirical fashion illustrator that though it would be an interesting challenge to create 24 images in 24 days. He was happy while he was making that decision and planning for it. He was happy on the first day, and on the second, even all the way up to the 5th. On the 12th day the sleep deprivation began to hit him, that was when his true love said to him: take a break. So he decided to make a making-of video of his 13th days work.

See Day 13 - Tentacled Conspiracy 

Day 13 - Tentacled Conspiracy

It was just his normal way back home, he had taken the shortcut many a time before. Today, though, was not a normal day. Each step Chris took sank him deeper into a paper puddle. The sun was shining and birds were flying about and Chris was sinking ever deeper into a puddle that didn't even get his sweatpants wet. For a second he was afraid that someone was trying to mug him for his man-purse. That was until Paul, the world cup predicting octopus, fell at terminal velocity onto his head. Out of sheer luck the Sartorialist, Face Hunter and Jak and Jil were all there to take this synchronous shot. Coincidence, I think not.

1. Chris Brown by James Demitri (The Fashonisto), 2. Leni by me in Sydney (Face Hunter), 3. Ilona by Filippo Del Vita for H Mag (The Photography Link), 4. Octopus (Suntimes), 5. Birthday Blues (Style Bubble), 6. YSL Stalion Pump (Jak and Jil)

Day 12 - Looking for Bears

Amanda was trained in the art of the woods from as early as she could remember. One of her very first memories was of husking out a raccoons fur to make a hat with. Over the years she had collected fox-tails from her uncles, cousins and other close family, creating her prized possession: A Fox-tail Fan. It was so luxurious and thick that many a stranger had tried to buy it off her.
Even though she was so spectacularly beautiful and resourceful, Amanda was still a lonely woman. After years of hunting in the wild for her man, she was going to her last resort, online dating. So she asked a friend of hers to take a profile photo for her. She planned the shot to the last detail: A velvet dress with and scorched natural scenes, the neoprene inner from a hitchhiker that died in an avalanche, a gold threaded necklace that the made herself in a furnace, her fox-tail fan and her best friends in the world Mike and Tina (well Tina was taking the photo, Mike and Tina are married and they are both bears).
Her profile description read:
Alone and looking for a SWM bear

1. Bryanboy wearing Martin Margiela (Bryanboy), 2. American Black Bear (Field Museum), 3. Suburbia by Patric Lindblom (The Ones2Watch), 4. Liu Wen by Greg Kadel for Vogue Germany Nov 2010 (Paper Mode), 5. Wood by Olivia Frolich (The Ones2Watch)

Day 11 - Cosmic Encounter

He plummeted towards earth, reaching terminal velocity. His kevlar space suit began to peel of his body, vaporizing into the atmosphere. His hair vanished in a burst of flames. Like a comet he colided with the earth, landing bruised, naked and hairless, newborn into the world. 

1. Will Lewis for Bailey (The Fashonisto), 2. Thome Browne Mens SS 2011 (Vogue), 3. em>48 Cowboy look (The Fashonisto), 4. Maison Martin Margiela F/W 2010 (Lynn & Horst), 5. Abbey Lee for ID by David Bailey (Paper Mode), 6. Planetary Nebulas (Smithsonian) , 7. Cat's Eye Nebula (Smithsonian), 8. Eric Ramos by Steven Chu (The Fashonisto), 9. Ink in water (Flickr-Sam Leivers)

Day 10 - Quarry Style-Off

Dorian had always been ahead of the trend curve in the quarry down town. He was the first to wear braces, the first to bring back espadrilles, he even took the bold step from boxers to boxer briefs. He liked being the one that everyone looked to for fashion guidance. Unfortunately one day, Bob down in the stone polishing section, started coming to the quarry wearing his snake leather red stilettos.

Dorian went home that night in a rage. He tore through his wardrobe, yanking Chanel boleros off their hangers, rummaging through his sheer underwear drawer. He needed to come wearing something revolutionary, something completely ahead of its time. He spent the whole night preparing, matching colours and fabrics.

The next morning he arrived with the Vangelis Conquest of Paradise theme song blasting out of his jawbone jambox. He was wearing a pair of Diesel distressed jeans, unbuttoned and left loose around his thighs, 2xist no show white mini briefs, a purple silk package support system and lastly 10 meters of the finest, lightest, most luxurious indian slik wrap around top. Even though the gusty wind in the quarry meant that he was fighting with his own top half of the time, Dorian left home happy that day knowing that tomorrow all his coworkers would be trying their best to keep up with him.

1. Tobias Sorensen by Agata Pospieszynska (The Fashionisto), 2. Quarry scene (Galt Museum), 3. Liu Wen by Greg Kadel for Vogue Germany Nov 2010 (Paper Mode), 4. Shoulder jacket (Style Bubble), 5. Red pumps (Jack and Jil), 6. Coco tea cup (Style Bubble)

Day 09 - Spotting

 Like an endangered bird, Antonio weaves through the sequined club. Earlier in the day he picked up a dead pigeon in a square, took its feathers off and created a mask with them.
As the clubs lights pulsed through the space he moved around, avoiding the social predators with ease. At one point Perez Hilton was heading straight for him, no one escapes Perez once he fixes his bee-line, but in the flash of some sequins and the changing of the beat from electro-pop-jazz-funk to hip-rave-acappella, Antonio was nowhere to be seen.

1. James, Los Felix (FaceHunter), 2. Proenza Schouler S/S 2010 (Jack & Jill), 3. Anna del Russo dressing for Vouge Ball (Jack & Jill),  4. Proenza Schouler S/S 2010 (Jack & Jill), 5. Cotton Candy Hair (Jack & Jill)

Day 08 - Samurai Model

 The Japanese have trained a rare breed of model. Half samurai / half fashion model. They are called 'utsukushii mono' (the beautiful ones). They assume poses that anyone else would find impossible to achieve. Their muscles are so stretched and strong that they can remain in a position for hours at a time. Their ligaments are so flexible that they can reverse natural postures, dislocate limbs, rearrange their bodies at will. Their concentration is so practiced that they wouldn't flinch if a photographer blasted their flash right into their eyes. Yet like their ancient samurai peers, they are a rare breed, they haven't been spotted in decades. This photo documents the last utsukushii mono seen in public, taken in 1930 in an unknown street in Tokyo, she appeared for only a moment before vanishing into the morning fog.

1. Jean Paul Gaultier (Sonny Photos), 2. Tokyo Street Sweepers 1930 (Flickr), 3. Back turn (The Sartorialist), 4. Headwear (StyleBubble), 5. Neckwear (StyleBubble), 6. Raphael Young Footwear (StyleBubble)

Day 07 - Shower Run

 She got caught by the storm, the worst she had ever seen. Drops as big as tennis balls were hitting her face, dislodging her top, baring her breasts. Thank god she had brought her extendible Muji umbrella. She took it out of her  tiny purse and pressed the tittle button to expand the umbrella. It sprang out, forming a translucent web around her. Only a few drops were now hitting her smooth legs and grey-leopard print pumps. She was now inside the storm, she had a front row seat, the sound was deafening. She stood there her eyes wide, wanting to get as close to the rain as possible without getting wet.

1. Abbey Lee for ID Mag by David Bailey (Paper Mode), 2. Vivienne Westwood Gold Label SS 2011 (Sonny Photos), 3. Lily (FaceHunter), 4. Nicolette (FaceHunter), 5. Water Drops (Photoeverywhere), 6. Girl in Rain (Desktop Beauty)

Day 06 - Incredible Collision

A black sun was rising in the Thar desert. Jane and Janei (pronounced J-ah-neigh) were practicing their world famous gogo-dancing routine. It was a strenuous routine of back flips, tap dancing duets, and death defying amateur acrobatics.

The twins had made a name for themselves with their signature move: EAGLE - The Eagle Arrow Groin Lock Explosion. The move is always performed as their encore, for they have never had a performance where the audience didn't go mad with desire. So after waiting for the rapturous applause to die down just enough, Jane walks onto stage and takes a seat on her chair, takes out her cigarett and lighter, and makes herself comfortable. Everyone knows whats coming, the air is thick with anticipation. The Jane sisters have been known to make audiences wait up to a quarter hour for the explosive conclusion to their show. When everyone least expects it, Janei sprints out from the wing of the theather, pounding her diamante heels onto the wooden floor. Not a single sound other than the explosive CLACK of the heels can be heard. 

CLACK    -    CLACK   -    CLACK    -     CLACK        -                ...              a pause

As time itself stops, Janei flips into the air and assumes her position, Jane follows suit, lifting her leg. Those few seconds while Janei flies through the air, become tens of seconds.... and as the connection is made, and explosive cannon of confetti hidden between Jane's legs explodes covering the entire audience it fluttering metallic confetti.

Image Credits: Paris Vogue, April 3003. 1. Incredible India, 2. La Poupee (Glen Luchford), 3. Buccellati Jewelry, 4. Quand la Ville Dort (Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin)

Day 05 - Coral Daydream

Image Credits: 1. Coral Reef (Wikimedia), 2. Yoshiko Reclining (The Selby), 3&4. Dresses (Style Bubble), 5. Air bubbles (Likclick), 6. Holly Garber (Jak and Jil)

Day 04 - Special Delivery

Dooreen was delivering her usual package in the back streets of Amsterdam in the early hours of the morning. Miniature model trafficking had become a huge industry in the last year. After all the designers had gotten sick of the old, overweight, underweight, underage, ginger, blond, boyish, girlish, hunk, bombshell models, they needed something to keep the media interested.

It was at about this time that the research of a Swedish cloning experiment went public. For the last 10 years they had been creating miniature sized models by splicing the DNA of the worlds best models. The DNA was collected in Paris an undercover fashion show hair stylist.

Needless to say that the entire operation was highly illegal, but this only added to its allure for the elite designers. The first show to have a fully miniature modeling cast was Victor and Rolf, for once they would not need to upscale their doll-sized fashion creations. Next Dolce & Gabbana paraded groups of mini-men with tiny rippling abs. Most notably McQueen had his miniature models playing with robots: riding aibo dogs, driving model cars and flying model helicopters.

Image Credits: 1. Cyclist (The Sartorialist), 2. Abbey Lee by Emma Summer for I.D. April 2010 (Paper Mode), 3. Candice Swanepoel by Mario Testino for VMAN (Paper Mode), 4. Neon (Images of Elements), 5. Brick Wall (Wikimedia), 6. Smoke (Link)

Day 03 - Home Gym

Janet didn't do her exercising out on the streets or in a gym. Over years she had built her own indoor, home exercise obstacle course. She had a bookcase swiss-climbing machine, a clothes-rack pole vault, a butchers block pommel-horse, the list goes on and on. 

Dotted everywhere are little chalk trays that she dabs her hands in before doing triple summersaults between her roof rafters. The distinct smell of sweat and antiperspirant cannot be ignored, at points it is almost unbearable.

Yet Janet manages to pull off her home-gym routine in perfect style, sometimes to her detriment. Last year she needed an emergency operation and 30 stitches after landing on an ancient Inca waistband she was wearing while dismounting unsuccessfully  from the high bar in her shower. That hasn't stopped her from wearing the most impractical couture while trying to keep fit. Even Stefano Gabbana warned her that wearing the Lady Gaga metal dress while undertaking strenuous exercise might leave her being sliced up like a tuna fish.

But Janet doesn't care, she only has one motto in life:

"No carbs after 6pm"

Image Credits: 1. S.Aus Young Designers Showcase (Sonny Photos), 2. Stair Bookcase (Adaptive Reuse), 3. Shirt Detail (Style Rookie), 4. Silver Necklace (Style Rookie), 5. Maysles House (The Selby), 6. Dress Detail (Jak and Jil), 7. Hair on Fire(Jak and Jil)

Day 02 - Proud

Its time to support World AIDS Day again. It is such an important cause to not forget about.

Play safe.

worldaidsday.org

worldaidsdaycampaign.org

Image Credits: 1. Lanvin <3 H&M (Style Bubble), 2. Aids ribbon (Family Service)

Day 01 - Double Dairy

Not everything is better when its doubled. 

double cream - good

double dutch - fun

double bypass - could be terminal

double calf head - cute but scary

Image Credits: 1. The Selby, 2. The Sartorialist, 3. The Selby, 4. Style Bubble, 5. Jak and Jil

00 Fashion Advent 2010

Starting from the 1st of December, the Fake Sartorialist site will be updated daily with experiments in collage that use content from the internet as its source material. It will be an advent calendar of sorts, a fashion advent calendar of the conceptual kind.

So come up to the site (each day)

and see whats on the slab

I see you shiver with antici..........pation

(feel free to send me any ideas: info -at- fakesartorialist.com)